♥ -XiiaoA- When Hearts Colides, Beating As One

Ghost Story # 1

When I was young, I lived in a deserted kampong deep in the jungle.
Every
night, my mother would ask me not to go home too late as there won't be
any transportation after a certain time.

One night, before going home, I ta pao a kueh teow soup for supper. I
was late and I waited for the taxi/bus but there was none. I was getting
worried as the night was getting darker and darker.
So I tried to flag down private vehicles to take me home.

>>>>There was no one stopping for me, till one motorcyclist took
comppassion
on me and stopped to give me a lift. He was a man with a kind face. I
accepted his offer and got onto his motorbike.

>>>>On the way home, we would pass by a temple. At night, the temple
would
look eerily spooky with the dim lights from the candles. At first, the
motorcyclist was warm and friendly. When the temple was approaching, the
motorcyclist eyes grown bigger and bigger.

>>>>His kind face turned to a face of anger. He was muttering something
loud
but was not audible to me. I was so scared that I closed my eyes in
order not to see his angry face. Then, the motorcylist stopped in front
of the temple and then yelled at me.

>>>>"Your kueh teow soup is so hot!! It is burning my thigh! Can you
please
move it away???"

Ghost Story #2

>>>>When I was young, I have two friends who were very close to each
other.
They played with each other everyday. It was like, if you see A, you
would see B next to him. They were always together.

>>>>A loved fried eggs. Whenever he went out for lunch or dinner without
fail, he would ask for fried egg on top of his noodles, fried rice, etc.
One day, A involved in an accident and died. B was devastated. B went to
the cemetery to pray everyday. He would go to the nearest restaurant and
ta pao a box of fried rice with an egg on top to be offered to A when he
went to pray to him.

>>>>The next day, he opened the box and there was no egg inside! B was
petrified. He thought, must be A who came and took the fried egg away.

>>>>The same thing happened the next day and the day after that. B was
confused. So, one day, he asked the chef to make the same fried rice
with a fried egg again. Then, he went to the cemetery to offer it to A.
Curious, he opened the box to check for the egg. He was angry to find
that, there was no fried egg in the box after all.

>>>>Feeling that he had been cheated, he went back to the restaurant and
demanded to see the Chef. "Where is the fried egg?? I told you there
must be a fried egg inside!! You have cheated me for a few days now!
Gimme back my money!!"

>>>>Then, the Chef got really angry and opened the box - the fried egg
was
inside the box.
The Chef said, "Stupid! You open the box upside down. No wonder you
cannot see the egg!!"

Ghost Story #3

When I was young, I went to town to work with a group of friends during
our summer holidays of two months. Being young and away from home for
the first time, we drank and smoke like nobody's business.

>>>>One night, we were pissed drunk and flagged the last bus down to go
home.

>>>>Being tired, we slept in the bus. It had been awhile that I fell
asleep.
I was awake by the chilly wind. I was shocked to find that there was no
one in the bus, and I was the last passenger. I looked in front to check
out for the driver. But the driver was no where in sight. Yet, the bus
was moving.

>>>>I panicked shitless. I rubbed my eyes to make sure that I was not
dreaming. The night was dark and cold.
I hysterically jumped out from the bus and tried to run as hard as I
could to get away.

>>>>Then I heard someone yelled at me from behind the bus.

>>>>"Hey! Don't run away! Come over here and help to push the bus!"
yelled
the bus driver.

>>>>I saw my other friends helping to push the bus, which broke down
while
I
was asleep.

One Singh was enjoying the sun at the beach in America.

A lady came and asked him, " Are you relaxing?"
Singh answered, "No, I am Banta Singh."

Another guy came and asked the him the same question.
Singh answered, "No, No, Me - Banta Singh!"

Third one came and asked him the same question again.
Singh was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place.

While walking he saw another Singh soaking in the sun.
He went up to him and asked, "Are you Relaxing?"
The other Singh was a lot more educated and answered, "Yes, I am
relaxing."

The Sing slapped him on his face and said, "Stupid, idiot.
Everyone is looking for you and your are sitting over here!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Singh died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate

Saint Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances
in education on earth. In order to gain admittance a prospective
heavenly soul, he must answer two questions:

1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".
2. How many seconds are in a year?

The Singh thought for a few minutes and answered...

1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and
Tomorrow.
2. There are 12 seconds in a year.

Saint Peter said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow answer, even
though it's not the answer I expected.

But how did you get 12 seconds in a year?"
The Singh replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd,March 2nd, etc..."

Saint Peter lets him in without another word.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jasmeet Kaur caught her husband Santa Singh searching high and low
all around his living room.

Jasmeet: "What are you searching for?"

Santa: "Hidden cameras!"

Jasmeet: "And what makes you think that there are hidden cameras
here?"

Santa: "That guy on TV knows exactly what I am doing. Why every
minutes he keeps saying 'You are watching the Star World Channel'. How
does he know that?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three men were stranded on an uninhabited island. One was Hindu, one a
Muslim, and the other a Singh.

The only way back home was to swim 100 miles to the next island,
which was inhabited.

The Muslim was so determined to get home that he tried to swim. He
made it 50 miles, got tired, and drowned.

Then the Hindu tried. He made it 75 miles, but got tired and drowned,
too.

The Singh thought he could make it all the way, so he started
swimming.

He swam 50 miles, but started getting tired, so he swam all the way
back
to the island.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Having lost his donkey a Singh, got down to his knees and started
thanking God.

A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing; what are you
thanking God for ?"

The Singh replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn't
riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing
too."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final
examination.

He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question
paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his
shoes
off and throws them out of the window.

He then removes his turban and throws it away as well.
His shirt, pant, socks and watch follow suit.

The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on.

"Oye, I am only following the instructions yaar," he says, " it says
here,
Answer the following questions in brief'.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two Singhs were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying
like hell.

So the other asked, "Why are you crying?"

The first one said, "I came here for blood test"

Second one asked, "So? Are you afraid ? "

First one replied, " No, not that. During the blood test they cut my
finger"

Hearing this the second one started crying.

The first one was astonished and asked other,
"Why are you crying?" The other replied,

"I have come for my urine test."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Singh goes to a hotel and eats heartily.

After eating he goes to wash hands but starts washing the basin
instead.

The manager comes running and asks him,

Mr. Singh, what are you doing?"

To this the man replies," Oye, see the board here, "Wash Basin".

Story 1
Ah Lian ask shopkeeper: Eh Ah Chek, u got sell stocking up to knee, boh?
Ah Chek : Lu siao ah! stocking wear up to 'yeo' (waist) only, where got up to the 'nee'(breast) one.

Story 2
Ah Beng bought a Honda VTI recently and drove to Ah Lian's place to show it to her. So there Ah Beng wabragging the various functions of his new car to his girlfriend.
"This is ah, so fast even the Mata Chia cannot catch ah!"
"Ha! Really ah!!! Steady lah!" said Ah Lian.
"Some more hor, this is Automatic one, vely easy to drive!"
So Ah Lian said, "Let me try! I wan, I wan!"
So Ah Lian took the driver's seat and shifted the gear and floored the accelerator.
The next moment, the car sped backwards and crashed into the lamp-post.
"Alamak! What u doing? U Siao Char Bo! U see lah! Wah Piang eh!" screamed Ah Beng.
"Solee, solee, pai sei lah! No lah, I tot hor, "R" for racing mah!"*

Story 3
The Titanic was sinking, and there weren't enough lifeboats.
So the captain had to persuade male passengers to jump into the icy waters to make room for women and children.
To the British he said. "You must act like gentlemen." They jumped.
To the Americans he said, "You can be heroes." They complied.
To the Germans he said, "It's the rule." They obeyed.
To the Japanese he said," It's the consensus." They obliged.
Then came the Singaporean and they just weren't budging until he came up with the appeal: "Free life jackets for those who jumped."

Story 4
3 recruits - Chinese, Malay & Indian are at the army supply base to collect underwear. The sergeant was there to aid the supplies.
Sergeant: Hei Ah Beng! How many underwear you need ah?
Ah Beng: (thinks a while) 7 sasen(sergeant)!
Sergeant: (puzzled) How come so many?
Ah! Beng: Mon, Tues, Wed, Thurs, Fri, Sat & Sun. One day one.
Sergeant: (Malay recruit) Eh Mat! How many underwear?
Mat: (without hesitation) 6 sargen!
Sergeant: (curious) How come six?
Mat: Mon, Tues, Wed, Thurs, Sat & Sun. Friday I wear sarong.
Sergeant: (Indian recruit) Dei Tambi. How many underwears dah dei?
Tambi: (very confidently) 12 Sarjen !!!!
Sergeant: (shocked & fell to the ground) Why you need so many for?
Tambi: January, February, March.....One month one.

Story 5
Once upon a time, a group of Ah Bengs stepped into a lounge and wanted the DJ to play the song "Ah Cheng Buey Ro Ti" (In Hokkien means Ah Cheng buys bread). The DJ told them that they only have English songs and told them to re-select another song. The Ah Bengs were very angry and kicked up a big fuss, claiming the DJ was insulting them. The manager had to intervene in order to calm them down. Finally, after long talk with Ah Bengs, the manager found out that Ah Bengs were actually asking for the song "Unchained Melody" by the Righteous Brothers.

Story 6
One day, two Ah Lians got into a lift from the 20th storey and want to get down to the ground floor. As they looked at the dial, they could see the
number 20 down to number 2. It was then followed by a G. As they not English-educated, they were puzzled and had no idea what does the letter G mean. Suddenly one of them exclaimed excitedly and hit G. When they finally reached the ground floor, the other Ah Lian was so impressed and asked the first Ah Lian, "Wah low!!!, how you know one?" The first Ah Lian reply smugly, "Easy lah.. G for Gero(zero) mah..."

A man was walking across the road when he met with an accident. The
impact was on his head which caused him to be in a coma for 2 days.

When he opened his eyes, his wife was by his side.
He told her (in tears), "When I was struggling with my studies in the
University, I failed again and again. Sometimes I even
have to re-take
my papers. You were there by my side, encouraging me to go on trying."

She squeezed his hands as he continued, "When I went for major
interviews and failed to clinch any of the jobs, you were there,
cutting

out the job ads for me to apply..."

He added, " ...then I started working in this little firm and finally
got a big contract. I blew it because of a small mistake.
But you are still there for me." His wife was in tears.

The man said, "I finally got a job after being laid off for quite some
time. But I never seem to be promoted and my hard work was not
recognised. I
remained in the same position from the day I joined the company till

now. You are still beside me..."

His wife's tears trickled down as she listened to him, "And now I met
with an accident and when I woke up, you are here with me. There's
something I really like to say to you..."

She flung herself on the bed and hug her husband, sobbing with deep
emotion. Finally her husband said,

"I think you bring me bad luck."

Player : Gabriel Heinze
From : Manchester United To : Barcelona or Real Madrid
Fees : £5 million

Player : Scott Parker
From : Newcastle United To : West Ham
Fees : 8.5 million pounds

Player : Joey Barton
From : Manchester City To : Newcastle United
Fees : 5.5 million pounds

Player : Phil Jagielka
From : Sheffield United To : Everton
Fees : 4 million pounds

Player : Mark Viduka
From : Middlesbrough To : Newcastle United
Fees : free transfer

Player : Derek Boateng
From : Beitar To : Newcastle United
Fees : £1 million

Player : David Healy
From : Leeds United To : Fulham
Fees : £1 million

Player : Nigel Reo-Coker
From : West Ham To : Arsenal or Manchester United
Fees : £9 million

Player : Florent Malouda
From : Olympique Lyon To : Liverpool
Fees : £10 million

Player : Samuel Eto'o
From : Barcelona To : Man Utd
Fees : £25 million

Player : Matthew Taylor
From : Portsmouth To : Liverpool, Tottenham, Fulham & Aston Villa
Fees : £5 million

Arsenal goalkeeper Jens Lehmann said Friday that he agreed a new contract at the London club, despite knowing he was not guaranteed a starting berth in Arsene Wenger's team.
Wenger has signed Polish international Lukasz Fabianski, who at 22 is 15 years Lehmann's junior and widely regarded as a hot future prospect.

And Lehmann was made fully aware he could no longer consider himself an automatic first choice player.

"The coach told me certain things during an interview and I thought about them before deciding to prolong with Arsenal until June 2008," said Lehmann.

"I want to impose myself on this situation and that's why I decided to stay until 2008," added the German number one ahead of his country's Euro 2008 qualifier against San Marino on Saturday.

Lehmann, who has been at Arsenal since 2003, said the coming season will be his hardest yet. He faces a battle to keep hold of both the Arsenal and Germany number one shirts.

"If I play at Arsenal I will have no worries for the national team because the English league is a higher level than the German league," he said. "If I'm not starting at Arsenal, then that will be new for me."

Lehmann displaced Bayern Munich stopper Oliver Kahn as Germany's first choice keeper before last season's World Cup but faces stiff competition from Timo Hildebrand, who is leaving German champions Stuttgart for Valencia, Robert Henke of Hanover and Schalke 04's Manuel Neuer.

SEOUL, June 1, 2007 (AFP) - Star French forward Thierry Henry sidestepped questions on Friday about his Arsenal future amid speculation that Barcelona and Inter Milan are ready to sign him.
"I already answered so many times ... You know already the answer," he said when asked at a press conference here if he would be with Arsenal next season.

Henry has been critical of the club for not signing more established and experienced big names and said previously that he was an Arsenal player "for now."

Manager Arsene Wenger has insisted the player is going nowhere despite Spanish newspapers saying that he has had talks with Barcelona.

British newspapers added to the speculation this week by reporting that Inter Milan were ready to step in and make a 15 million pound bid.

The Gunners had a frustrating season, with a League Cup final defeat to Chelsea the closest they came to silverware and the suggestion is that Henry might look elsewhere in search of honours as he nears his 30th birthday.

The French ace has not played since March due to stomach and groin injuries and said he was trying to regain his fitness in time for the start of the 2007-08 campaign.

"I surely know what I've done at Arsenal so far ... but at the moment, it's really important for me to be back on track," he said.

"And talking about improvement, I am the type of a guy who says you can do always do better. So definitely, we can surely do better," he said.

Henry is on a visit to Seoul for a promotion event for Reebok Korea.

Liverpool's Steven Gerrard and Jamie Carragher have given manager Rafael Benitez a post-Champions League boost by signing new four-year contracts with the club.
Club captain Gerrard and vice-skipper Carragher have signed deals which extend their stay at Anfield until at least 2011.

Carragher told the club's official website, www.liverpoolfc.tv: "I am very pleased. Obviously we are both local lads and I've always said I wanted to stay here for the rest of my career.

"I have signed for four years and hopefully I can still be a regular in the team. That's the aim anyway."

Gerrard added: "I'm really pleased too. The negotiations have gone really smoothly.

"Although they have been spoken about for a couple of weeks, I think it's happened pretty quickly. I'm just pleased to get it out of the way and we look forward to next season now.

"Hopefully over the next four years we can deliver a lot more trophies."

Liverpool recently lost the Champions League final 2-1 to AC Milan, but having beaten the Italians to lift the trophy two years ago the Reds' are now turning their attention to climb higher up the domestic pecking order.

Manchester United, Arsenal and Chelsea have been the league pacesetters in recent seasons, but Benitez and American owners George Gillett and Tom Hicks will see Gerrard and Carragher's new deals as a step towards changing that situation.

England midfielder Gerrard added: "I think these are exciting times at the football club with the takeover and the new stadium.

"I don't see why we can't go from strength to strength and win a load more trophies, not just the Premiership but more cups as well.

"Having said that, we can't get away from the fact that the Premiership is the one we want."

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AlbertKeeJiaLiang

-XiiaoA-
Albert Kee Jia Liang's the name
Im easy and simple and im friendly!(:
And most importantly , i dont bite :D
First cry on 08/01/1995! im officially 15 NOW ;D
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