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Sunday, August 23, 2009
Hey .. im so restless now alright xx srry for not posting for so long now that exams are over , i will have time to blog again:D And im getting a new blogskin no matter WHAT ! This is the first time that im mugging so hard for exam its just 5more weeks to final year i want a good sub combi i scared i cant get it im scared i fail... T.T Hasnt been training recently except yesterday which was saturday training at macritche ran 8 slopes through the forest trying to numb myself from all the pain >.< i really push mysself , i was infront this week i didnt tell anyone my problems until now its too hard to bare heavens making fun of me it took me so hard to get over one and forget another but now comes another one WTH how rare do you see a love square instead of triangle First was my EX , took me almost half a year to forget her months back i met the new her which make me want to forget my ex i tried forgeting , end up for no reason , she dao me it really hust so bad that i really shut myself out its sucks , i dont deserve this , someone told me that perserverance will work and touch the girl , but i end up getting dao or rejected yes i know im not worthy but do you have to go down so hard on me ? And now , this girl who treats me so well , tells me her secret , nvr despite me . Now tell me she has a crush , well she's tearing me apart i cant take this the third time anymore im starting to doubt love .. starting to doubt myself im going into depression , a very damaging one i have been down this few days . thinking alot , i might look okay , but deep inside my hearts tearing slowly , bit by bit yes i admit , its not that im scared to confess but scared of rejection , cause yes i have no self confident having nightmare this two days , hoping not tonight yesterday morning when i wake up for training i was sweating all over . dreamt of that i'll nver see her again i woke up in tears , lying there thinking then i went to loyang valley and follow sir's car i didnt want to let him know anything i kept quiet the whole journey reach macritche , i chiong the route with kyser so fast and so tiring , numbing myself the feeling was so great that i wish time could stop after training i went back with eugenes father reached home i lock myself in the room blasting music to max volume . the same way i do everytime im sad that evening , mum and dad has to attend a wedding . so left with me and brother martin ring me up , went over to his house at 10pm , party until the next morning like 4am ? cause he was just living next block so i walked home drunk .. yes another way to numb myself but i feel good slept woke up this morning cover with sweat again this time the dream was that i was lost in a deserted place with no humans around COMPLETELY NO ONE i was so scared , there was no one or nth to turn to that moment i feel like dying the feeling of being lost is so scary so so so scary just now afternoon went out to whitesands walked alone saw a few friends now i feel tired , very very tired wished i could sleep and never wake up cause love sucks and life's unfair oh fuck , mom sure know when to piss me off now i have to do all the chores , dishes and sweep the floor gdi ... i shouted at mom now i regret it she's more vex then i am to manage a family like mine isnt easy i really envious that relationship that work out so yeah do treasure your relationsip dont end up being a loser like me im gonna bathe now and sleep ! and aint wanna think no more oh god what shld i do ? x.X To eugene : thx for trying to cheer me up but yeah i dont think you will be able to help To A : you said about perserverance and everyone deserve a chance but like my post says im not scared of confession but rejection .. i dont wanna be hurt the THIRD TIME To Alvin : hey bro that party didnt really cheers me up though , thx for the tought To martin : hey thx for accompany-ing me this two days you guys are great P.S I will wait , till the day you say u hate me signing off , JiaLiang It ends tonight - all American rejects You belong with me - taylor swift |
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-XiiaoA- Albert Kee Jia Liang's the name Im easy and simple and im friendly!(: And most importantly , i dont bite :D First cry on 08/01/1995! im officially 15 NOW ;D Simply ♥ Shopping & Slacking (: Im very NOT anti social(: talk to me and i'll talk to you! Easily Moody, but can get super high :D Enough said, read my blog to know me more ^^ Read the post, enjoy the photo and leave a tagg (: or else just Alt+F4 ♥Baby Ong Closest ♥ ♥♥(YongMing ♥ Theodora) ♥♥ Aglin♥♥♥ Rong Xing terrecia ♥♥♥ Augustine ShengWei Gans ♥ ♥♥shiying ♥♥Lynette ♥♥Liangying ♥♥isabella ♥♥joanne ♥♥joane ♥♥meihui ♥♥michelle ♥♥shu hui ♥♥Vivien ♥♥Peimin ♥♥zining Friends ♥ boon chan bryan cheryl cynthia Donavan Donna robin dessere fahmi huilin johnray jingheng jaime jia en kzel lijun minyi nijun natalie qihuan randyne sinyao vania X.Vass x.Zhong May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 October 2009 November 2009 January 2010 July 2010 |
